A life of lingering

I want you to examine your life. REALLY look into it.
Think about how you spend your time, what you think about, the decisions you make, ect.

Now, ask yourself, Is Jesus the center or is He an add on? 

My heart behind this post is to share with y'all that I struggle with treating Him as an add on, like i've said before, A lot of times I don't even want to let Jesus in the car much less be the driver. 
Knowing this about myself I really have two options, to be okay with it or change it.

I think a lot of my "treating Jesus as an add on" comes from me treating Him as a feeling. When I "feel" Him, it's easy to acknowledge Him and let Him be the driver but on the flip side, when the feelings don't come I begin to get in a rut. From that rut starts a snowball of effects, like me trying to drive my car on my own, and only thinking of Jesus as someone who's their sometimes.

I can not stress this enough, so please if this is all you get from my post listen up:
JESUS IS NOT A FEELING

He's not some "camp high" God that is going to make you feel butterflies every day of your life.

I'm timid to get honest, but here it goes,

Receiving salvation takes no work on your part. Jesus did ALL the work 2000 years ago on a cross, now it's a free gift for anyone to take it. 
BUT A relationship with Jesus takes work. (notice how I didn't say workS)
Just like an earthly relationship, you'll have your high and your low points, sometimes you'll feel so on fire for God and other days you just can't even open your bible. Why? Because we are human.
I don't like that excuse though.

So, we are human, yes. But don't use that as an excuse to stay distant from God.
We are as close to Him as we choose to be. 

In this life we have choices, He has given us free will, So choose to make Him the center.
It's going to be work, you aren't always going to "feel" like it, but let me encourage you with how I find it easy to seek God, and that's to stay near to Him...


There's a word that has been mentioned at different events that has stuck in my head and I believe it's how we escape from keeping Jesus as an add on, how we get out of our ruts, and how we get fullness of life.


"linger"

I was really curious as to why Jesus was laying this word on my heart so I decided to find out why. 

From Dictionary.com

1. to stay in a place longer than is usual or expected, reluctant to leave
2. To remain alive, although gradually dying
3. to dwell in contemplation, though or enjoyment

Do we linger in His presence?
Lingering for Jesus is the opposite of treating Him as an add-on, it's clinging to him,"reluctant to leave"

I found it interesting that the 2nd definition is "To remain alive" because that's what Jesus does for us, He gives us life.

We are all going to die, if you didn't agree with anything else on this post you have to agree with that. So while you are here on earth let Him give you life, He is the only one that can.
 My challenge for you is to linger in the presence of God,  ENJOY His goodness, find LIFE in Him,
Don't treat Him as an add-on, He doesn't belong there.

Pursued by a KING

Growing up I was one of those typical little girls, my day consisted of dress up, barbies and of course, princesses. I can't tell you how many times I have watched Cinderella. Still to this day it is my all time favorite Disney movie.

I had a desire from a young age to be like Cinderella, to have a prince come into my life and save me (not from an evil step mother) but you get my point. I just felt this longing to be wanted, not just wanted but pursued after.

I mean lets be real, who doesn't want a prince to ride around on his horse for days trying to find you?

Not only did he find Cinderella but he saved her. He took her out of her ugly situation and turned her rags into riches.

When we watch this movie it tugs at our heart, why? Because we were designed to want this. These aren't bad feeling, I actually believe that the Lord placed them within us. Where we go wrong is when we don't realize that WE ARE LIVING THIS LOVE STORY

Not only are we living this love story, we are living it BETTER.

Cinderella was pursued by a prince, WE are pursued by a KING
Cinderella was a slave to her step mother, WE are a slave to SIN
Cinderella was saved by a prince, OUR KING CONQUERED SIN AND OVERCAME DEATH
Cinderella was given a castle, WE inherit a KINGDOM


I plead with every girl out there that is like me, you have grown up hearing about fairy tales, you long for this day, and as each day passes, and no prince comes, you become more discouraged. I plead that you see that you are looking for the wrong fairy tale.

Jesus longs to have an intimate relationship with you, to give you the fairy tale of all fairy tales, but he can't do that if you have a death grip on your desire for a fairy tale that will never come.

Having a desire for a man to pursue you is not wrong, here me again IT'S NOT WRONG, but please, don't fall into the trap that that's what's going to satisfy you. Because the truth is, you will never be satisfied with an earthly relationship until you have one with The Lord.


Now, some of you might be confused when I say the Lord wants to pursue you, and even romance you. I know this is a concept I didn't get until my senior year, I just couldn't really see God in that way. If you are like that I beg you to stop right now and cry out to the Lord, let him change your heart, let Him show you what it means to surrender and fall in love with Him. 

I promise, when you see what it's like to be romanced by A KING, it puts every other fairy tale to shame.

Seeking the whole truth

"Guard your heart" is a term I have heard for as long as I can remember, and since coming to college it's become one of the christian things you hear almost everyday.

When we are told to guard are hearts, it's mostly referring to a guy. 
We take it from Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
The more I heard the term, the more I became curious on what exactly it meant. Not only what it means, but how to actually do it.

"Sure, guard my heart, got it."
But what does that look like really?


Personally I think this is a verse that we are belittling. I say that because the only time I have ever really heard this verse used is when it is followed by relationship advice.
We aren't necessarily taking the verse out of context but we are taking it out and applying it to a certain area of our life and calling it a day. That is still a dangerous zone to play in.

Don't get me wrong, we do need to guard our hearts when it comes to the opposite sex but when we leave it to just that we are missing the point.

This verse isn't telling us to guard our hearts from the opposite sex, this verse is telling us to guard are hearts from our own thoughts.

What we spend our time meditating on runs our lives, whether you believe it or not.
 That is what the warning is here.

"for everything you do flows from it." 

What is in your heart?
guilt? pride? lust? the list can go on and on
what we think about, what we allow in our hearts, then flows into how we live our lives.

This is why we are told to guard our hearts, not just from boys, but from real evil that is lurking in the shadows.

For me, I read this and I think okay okay, I see but i'm still left with HOW. Luckily, this isn't where the verse stops.

"Keep your mouth free of perversity;
    keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
    fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
    keep your foot from evil."

To guard our hearts, we must turn from things of this world. 

When we read the rest of chapter 4 we see Colossians 3:2 played out

"Set your mind on things above and not on earthly things" 

That is how we ultimately guard our heart, we can't let the things of this world sway us right and left, we must stand firm in our faith and trust in our Jesus. Seeking Him fully will only happen when we rid ourselves of this world.

That is why we must guard our hearts, so that we can let Jesus fully use us for His glory. 

I hope you don't think any of this means I don't think guarding your heart when it comes to boys isn't important, because I believe it is. My heart behind this is that we would ultimately see that that's not where the verse stops. We have to stop using bible verses for our own personal pick me ups and remember that Jesus wants us to see the truth, and the whole truth. 

Think of things above so Jesus can flow from you and people can see His grace through you. 

All the single ladies

As I sit down to right this I am finding myself overwhelmed with nerves. This isn't my first blog, writing is something I enjoy, so why am I nervous?

You see, this blog might be one of the most honest blogs I've written. What you are about to read is my heart and my struggle, so please, understand that I am a broken person that yearns for more Jesus but recently I have seen my brokenness more than I like to admit. 

I am someone that hates to admit their wrong. Conviction is something that literally makes me hurt. I'm unsure if it's my desire to always do the right thing, or my stubbornness that takes over during conviction but either way I tend to shove it out of my mind. If you are honest with yourself, you have done this at least once in your life. 

My mechanism for this is that I come up with a huge list of why it's okay. Literally, a list. That's how stubborn I can be, it's like God and I sit down and I try and draw out why I'm right. (please just picture that) 

The fact that I even think to consider that I know better than my King is ridiculous. 

My most recent experience with this is, is when I told myself this lie- 

"I am not one of those girls that tries to complete her life with a guy." 

Actually, that's what I've always told myself. And I wasn't just telling it to myself I was actually believing it. 

Now, that statement is all truth, and you shouldn't EVER let a guy complete your life, because he can't. Where my conviction comes in is that I was lying to myself. 

My words were not matching up with my actions.

I like to put up a "I am a strong independent woman who don't need no man" front, that's just my personality. I have this need for people to see that I am single, and okay with it. So I continued to feed myself these lies, while I pursued other things with my actions. 

Recently, I was in a situation that was not my smartest move. A guy had come into my life and I literally jumped at the chance for it. Not only that but in a way I pursued Him.

My lies then shifted. Instead of telling myself I was fine without a guy, I was telling myself this one was fine for me. I was beginning to make exceptions in what I wanted out of a guy because he was a guy and he was giving me attention. I threw out my list and was ready to settle. 

I mean, He claimed to love Jesus and that's really all that matters right?

WRONG.

Please hear what I am saying, DO NOT SETTLE.

You are worthy of being pursued in the right way, by a man who fears the Lord, not a boy who is just playing with your heart.

Remember their is a difference in a man after God's own heart and a boy that wears a cross necklace. 

Don't be so quick to dive into a relationship because he has "a few of the qualities you want"

So you are 20, single, and have not prospects..guess what... THAT'S OKAY! 

I am writing this blog to admit that this is something I struggle with on a daily basis. 

I can't flip a switch and make myself not and that's something I am having to realize, but what I can do is change my focus.

Instead of telling myself I am fine being single, I tell myself how much my Jesus loves me. When you sit and meditate on how amazing that truly is, everything else fades away. It's not easy, but it is possible. 

After having this conviction and realizing how wrong I have been, Jesus is changing my heart. He is showing me all of the opportunities that await me, opportunities to further His kingdom. 

My prayer for each girl that is in my same boat is to see her true worth, to see that Jesus has BIG plans for each of us. We were made for so much more than we think.

Focus on His true promises, not the ones we make up in our head. 

He is constant

We are promised numerous amounts of times in the bible that God will never leave us, nor forsake us.
But do we really grasp that? 
Never. He will NEVER leave you.

Recently I have come to the harsh reality that too often I make God too much like the people around me. I will say things like "oh I just don't feel God in this right now" or "Is he even here?"

Looking back on those instances I seriously laugh at myself.....really Sara?
Do you not see that you have a loving, constant, faithful God who is pursing you daily? 

God isn't a father that walked out on you.
He's not a husband that has turned his back.
He's not a friend that became a backstabber.

Whatever your situation is, that has left you feeling abandoned, don't let that ruin your view of who God truly is. Your circumstances don't change God.

 It's while you are in the midst of those circumstances that you need to allow God to change your view of them.
Now understand-- I'm not saying that he will change your circumstances because a lot of times He won't. But we have to see that our view of what is happening is half the battle. 

In my personal situation I have come to the realization that it was nothing that I did, nothing I could have prevented. Just because someone walks out of your life, or leaves you beaten down, it doesn't mean that you are unworthy of love, and we have GOT to stop giving God the same characteristics as these people that have hurt us.

He is our healer. 
It is only by Him that we will be able to finally pick up the pieces and walk on.
It is only by Him that we will find forgiveness- realizing that forgiving someone is usually more so for us than for them.

If you believe in the healer, then why are you still holding onto the hurt?

We weren't meant to. 
Lay your burdens down at His feet, whether it's joyfully tossing them or painfully still grasping on as you weep, release them to Him.

My challenge for you, if you are dealing with a hard situation, or if you are feeling abandoned,

Run to Jesus.  Full force, sprint into His arms because He's waiting.

He will never leave nor forsake you.
Cling to that sweet promise and know that He is the only constant you will ever need.

Staying with the light

Lately, The Lord has really been convicting me of something:

My trust in Him is limited. 

That hurts to write, and even more so to really admit, but I feel like I need to get this out on the table because I'm probably not the only one struggling with it.

My whole life I've been told to trust in the Lord,  but it wasn't until recently that I really figured out what true trusts means. It's easy to trust the Lord when you can see whats up ahead, and for me, for the most part I've always been able to see, or at least i've had some sort of idea.

As I look at my future right now I can honestly say I don't know whats up ahead.
But what i'm learning is that's okay!

It's okay to not have a set plan, it's okay to be unsure in what the future holds but whats not okay is loosing trust in The Lord because all of a sudden the tunnel goes dark and you can't see what's in front of your foot.

Look at it like this,

You're in a tunnel of complete darkness, you have no idea whats up ahead, you don't even want to put your foot out because you can't tell where it will lead you. If you try and walk that path alone, you will either stand still out of fear or end up running yourself into a wall. But luckily for us, we have Jesus.

"Your word is the lamb to my feet and a light to my path" Psalm 119:105

We weren't meant to be able to see the full tunnel, we were meant to follow His light, one step at a time.
When we rush ahead, or even stay behind, panic and fear will crawl in, we won't know what to do, but when we stay with the light, the answers will unfold along the way. Trusting that His plan is good, digging into His word and reading of His promises, we will gain wisdom. With that wisdom we will find the true beauty of surrendering everything to Him.



Our purpose in this life is not to have the next 5, 10, 15 years figured out, we aren't promised those years, and when we focus to much on planning them out, we miss the right now. Jesus has new and exciting things to reveal to us everyday, we just have to be present.
We are called to be a disciple for Him RIGHT NOW, not just 5 years down the road when you have your life "figured out", because lets face it, getting the perfect job, getting married, none of those things will leave you satisfied or make you feel as if you've "figured life out" 


So instead of worrying about what the next five years might look like I am walking day by day through the tunnel with the light that will never go dark. I don't need all the answers to trust Him because I have Him, and that's all the answer I will ever need.

Diving into the unknown

Over the break I've been reading a book called "Letters from a skeptic" which is a book of letters where the father and son "debate" Christianity. It's been an interesting journey to read these letters and it's brought me to a conclusion, As Christians we have two choices when faced with questions we don't understand - 

We can run from them,  or we can dive into them, head first.

God loved us enough to send His son who died on a cross and saved us from our sins.
I don't want to label this simple, but in a way that's what we, as Christians, see it as. We don't think much into it, it's the foundation of our faith; black and white.

But the deeper you dive into a relationship with the Creator, the deeper you dive into questions of this world, there are not simple answers, it's not always black and white and I believe that's how God intended it to be. 

Accepting the first simple statement about Gods love for you, you must also accept that there are going to be questions that knock you on our butt. That leave you confused, that leave you uncomfortable. AND THAT'S OKAY! 

I think one of the biggest issues people run into is, they dig until they get uncomfortable. The moment they can no longer tie a little bow around it, they jump back.

I have to admit, a lot of things Letters from a skeptic have brought up makes me extremely uncomfortable. I want to close my book, take my bible and run to psalms and put Jesus back in my nice, neat little box

 "Jesus loves me this I know"

 ...BUT HE DOESN'T BELONG THERE. 


We have to face the facts that no one knows everything about God, and the moment you think you do, He's going to show you how very wrong you are. 

But how cool is it that we are all on different adventures with the creator? He is revealing new things to each of us if we will accept his offer of the journey He wants to take us on.

 We are going to come to questions that make us confused, Jesus is going to come out of the little box we have put him in but instead of fleeing from that and trying to force Him back in it, take it as an adventure, literally jump into unknown and let Him rock your world. 


The deeper you dive into your walk with God you come to see that it's not about a list of rules, it's not a black and white "to do list" but it's something so much better than that. He takes us on a journey WITH Him, that's how much He loves us. He wants to reveal His beauty to us in the sweetest way. So the next time you don't understand, or you come across a hard concept, take it as a compliment, that Jesus wants to walk you through it, and show you His love within it.