Pursued by a KING

Growing up I was one of those typical little girls, my day consisted of dress up, barbies and of course, princesses. I can't tell you how many times I have watched Cinderella. Still to this day it is my all time favorite Disney movie.

I had a desire from a young age to be like Cinderella, to have a prince come into my life and save me (not from an evil step mother) but you get my point. I just felt this longing to be wanted, not just wanted but pursued after.

I mean lets be real, who doesn't want a prince to ride around on his horse for days trying to find you?

Not only did he find Cinderella but he saved her. He took her out of her ugly situation and turned her rags into riches.

When we watch this movie it tugs at our heart, why? Because we were designed to want this. These aren't bad feeling, I actually believe that the Lord placed them within us. Where we go wrong is when we don't realize that WE ARE LIVING THIS LOVE STORY

Not only are we living this love story, we are living it BETTER.

Cinderella was pursued by a prince, WE are pursued by a KING
Cinderella was a slave to her step mother, WE are a slave to SIN
Cinderella was saved by a prince, OUR KING CONQUERED SIN AND OVERCAME DEATH
Cinderella was given a castle, WE inherit a KINGDOM


I plead with every girl out there that is like me, you have grown up hearing about fairy tales, you long for this day, and as each day passes, and no prince comes, you become more discouraged. I plead that you see that you are looking for the wrong fairy tale.

Jesus longs to have an intimate relationship with you, to give you the fairy tale of all fairy tales, but he can't do that if you have a death grip on your desire for a fairy tale that will never come.

Having a desire for a man to pursue you is not wrong, here me again IT'S NOT WRONG, but please, don't fall into the trap that that's what's going to satisfy you. Because the truth is, you will never be satisfied with an earthly relationship until you have one with The Lord.


Now, some of you might be confused when I say the Lord wants to pursue you, and even romance you. I know this is a concept I didn't get until my senior year, I just couldn't really see God in that way. If you are like that I beg you to stop right now and cry out to the Lord, let him change your heart, let Him show you what it means to surrender and fall in love with Him. 

I promise, when you see what it's like to be romanced by A KING, it puts every other fairy tale to shame.

Seeking the whole truth

"Guard your heart" is a term I have heard for as long as I can remember, and since coming to college it's become one of the christian things you hear almost everyday.

When we are told to guard are hearts, it's mostly referring to a guy. 
We take it from Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
The more I heard the term, the more I became curious on what exactly it meant. Not only what it means, but how to actually do it.

"Sure, guard my heart, got it."
But what does that look like really?


Personally I think this is a verse that we are belittling. I say that because the only time I have ever really heard this verse used is when it is followed by relationship advice.
We aren't necessarily taking the verse out of context but we are taking it out and applying it to a certain area of our life and calling it a day. That is still a dangerous zone to play in.

Don't get me wrong, we do need to guard our hearts when it comes to the opposite sex but when we leave it to just that we are missing the point.

This verse isn't telling us to guard our hearts from the opposite sex, this verse is telling us to guard are hearts from our own thoughts.

What we spend our time meditating on runs our lives, whether you believe it or not.
 That is what the warning is here.

"for everything you do flows from it." 

What is in your heart?
guilt? pride? lust? the list can go on and on
what we think about, what we allow in our hearts, then flows into how we live our lives.

This is why we are told to guard our hearts, not just from boys, but from real evil that is lurking in the shadows.

For me, I read this and I think okay okay, I see but i'm still left with HOW. Luckily, this isn't where the verse stops.

"Keep your mouth free of perversity;
    keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
    fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
    keep your foot from evil."

To guard our hearts, we must turn from things of this world. 

When we read the rest of chapter 4 we see Colossians 3:2 played out

"Set your mind on things above and not on earthly things" 

That is how we ultimately guard our heart, we can't let the things of this world sway us right and left, we must stand firm in our faith and trust in our Jesus. Seeking Him fully will only happen when we rid ourselves of this world.

That is why we must guard our hearts, so that we can let Jesus fully use us for His glory. 

I hope you don't think any of this means I don't think guarding your heart when it comes to boys isn't important, because I believe it is. My heart behind this is that we would ultimately see that that's not where the verse stops. We have to stop using bible verses for our own personal pick me ups and remember that Jesus wants us to see the truth, and the whole truth. 

Think of things above so Jesus can flow from you and people can see His grace through you. 

All the single ladies

As I sit down to right this I am finding myself overwhelmed with nerves. This isn't my first blog, writing is something I enjoy, so why am I nervous?

You see, this blog might be one of the most honest blogs I've written. What you are about to read is my heart and my struggle, so please, understand that I am a broken person that yearns for more Jesus but recently I have seen my brokenness more than I like to admit. 

I am someone that hates to admit their wrong. Conviction is something that literally makes me hurt. I'm unsure if it's my desire to always do the right thing, or my stubbornness that takes over during conviction but either way I tend to shove it out of my mind. If you are honest with yourself, you have done this at least once in your life. 

My mechanism for this is that I come up with a huge list of why it's okay. Literally, a list. That's how stubborn I can be, it's like God and I sit down and I try and draw out why I'm right. (please just picture that) 

The fact that I even think to consider that I know better than my King is ridiculous. 

My most recent experience with this is, is when I told myself this lie- 

"I am not one of those girls that tries to complete her life with a guy." 

Actually, that's what I've always told myself. And I wasn't just telling it to myself I was actually believing it. 

Now, that statement is all truth, and you shouldn't EVER let a guy complete your life, because he can't. Where my conviction comes in is that I was lying to myself. 

My words were not matching up with my actions.

I like to put up a "I am a strong independent woman who don't need no man" front, that's just my personality. I have this need for people to see that I am single, and okay with it. So I continued to feed myself these lies, while I pursued other things with my actions. 

Recently, I was in a situation that was not my smartest move. A guy had come into my life and I literally jumped at the chance for it. Not only that but in a way I pursued Him.

My lies then shifted. Instead of telling myself I was fine without a guy, I was telling myself this one was fine for me. I was beginning to make exceptions in what I wanted out of a guy because he was a guy and he was giving me attention. I threw out my list and was ready to settle. 

I mean, He claimed to love Jesus and that's really all that matters right?

WRONG.

Please hear what I am saying, DO NOT SETTLE.

You are worthy of being pursued in the right way, by a man who fears the Lord, not a boy who is just playing with your heart.

Remember their is a difference in a man after God's own heart and a boy that wears a cross necklace. 

Don't be so quick to dive into a relationship because he has "a few of the qualities you want"

So you are 20, single, and have not prospects..guess what... THAT'S OKAY! 

I am writing this blog to admit that this is something I struggle with on a daily basis. 

I can't flip a switch and make myself not and that's something I am having to realize, but what I can do is change my focus.

Instead of telling myself I am fine being single, I tell myself how much my Jesus loves me. When you sit and meditate on how amazing that truly is, everything else fades away. It's not easy, but it is possible. 

After having this conviction and realizing how wrong I have been, Jesus is changing my heart. He is showing me all of the opportunities that await me, opportunities to further His kingdom. 

My prayer for each girl that is in my same boat is to see her true worth, to see that Jesus has BIG plans for each of us. We were made for so much more than we think.

Focus on His true promises, not the ones we make up in our head.