A season of brokenness

I find a lot of things overrated. A few things that are high on the list would be wearing pants or eating salad. Both things just seem unnecisarry and Jesus said don't conform to the patterns of this world so i'm just trying to be obedient.

On a more serious side, there are a few things on the list that are a little different than not liking to wear pants. There is this trend that I see happening, a trend that I have fallen into but I am starting to find overrated. Almost more overrated than wearing pants, and that's that you have to be okay in times of brokenness. That is just not true, but more importantly it's not biblical.
 I want to speak on this to let you know that it's okay to not be okay, it's actually healthy.
 Jesus never said, "in this world you are going to have trouble [and in that trouble I'm going to need you to act like you are completely fine with it.]" HE SAID, "In this world you are going to have trouble but take heart, for I have overcome the world." 


This life is messy. It hurts and sometimes you are going to be broken. That brokenness isn't a sign of weakness or distrust in the Lord, it's just a season of life that God has called you into and if you accept this, it can be the most beautiful season of growth. 

Here is what I see in my own life: I don't like not being okay. I recently went through a time that was a little bit messy. I didn't understand why God was leading me into it and I just felt confused. It was a time where I was being asked how I was a lot. In my head I would think, "i'm not okay at all actually...." but that's not what I would say, instead of owning my brokenness, I covered it up with the "I"m fine, it's all going to be okay!" response. 

Not owning what I was really dealing with, or how I was feeling, I was stunting the growth that Jesus was trying to grow in my walk with Him. 
 That is why it's okay, to not be okay. When we finally sit in the brokenness and our "not being okay" we get to accept the healing that only Jesus can bring. 


"Come, let us return to the LORD; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." Hosea 6:1

I don't think in that moment, the people of Israel would have said, "ya man, all is good!" 
They were broken.
They had gone through moments of unfaithfulness, but in this moment, they were returning to God, admitting their brokenness because they were able to see that that was the only way that healing was going to happen. If you don't admit you are broken, you can't accept His healing. It was in that return to God that they got to fully accept and experience the goodness of his promises.


For me, I was able to admit to Jesus that I was broken, because at the moment in time, there was no denying it to Him but it was admitting it to my community that was hard. I don't like being seen as weak, but it's in this time that I learned that being weak is the perfect time for Jesus to show His strength. Admitting it to others was a crucial step in admitting it to myself, that is why it is a part in letting Jesus heal you. He uses the love and support and wisdom of others to teach you the beauty in your brokenness. 

I have seen my fair share of broken times, and there will be many more to come, but I will face them with the promise that he is still bigger than all of it. He strengthens us in this time and without it we would stay the same, and he has called us to so much more than staying where we are. 
"I have come so you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

God didn't keep Jesus from the cross and he won't keep you from anything that will make you more like his son.



 


 

Faithful Laughter

I like to imagine Jesus with his disciples, sitting around the dinner table, maybe they are laughing over something said, maybe they are laughing over a spilled drink, regardless, I believe there was laughter.

There are two distinct mentions of laughter in the bible, two different women, both regarding the same circumstance: uncertainty.

Sitting in senior year of college I am faced with my own uncertainty. I get reminded of it often, by myself and others, it's the hot topic of conversation almost everywhere I go. Most questions look like this:

"What are you doing after graduation?"
"Where do you think you'll be living?"
"Is it weird that in 7 months you'll be somewhere else?"

What people don't know is every time one of theses is asked, another notch in the "sara freak out meter" rises.


I want to laugh with assurance that Jesus is greater than my uncertainty but i'm too afraid that this laughter will be the sound of disbelief instead.


Sarah and Abraham were, as the bible puts it "very old", not just old, but VERY old. So you can imagine what thoughts were rushing through her head when she overhead the promise being made to her husband, that they would conceive a child. We look at her and think, how could you laugh???? Do you not trust the Lord??? But let's be real here, I probably would have laughed too. I can't blame her, I just don't want to be her.

"So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Genesis 18: 12

My question is- how do we get to a place where the laughter is matched with faith, and it's a sound of peace and assurance instead of disbelief and fear?

There's another passage covering laughter, one that we have all heard at every woman's talk:

"She is clothed with STRENGTH and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25

This woman laughs too. She laughs at her circumstances, her future and her uncertainty because she has tapped into the source of peace. The future to her isn't scary, it's exciting.
She can do this because she is clothed in strength: that strength that the bible is talking about is not our own strength, but only that of the Lord.


There are two distinct differences with these two woman:

Laughter in the disbelief: Sarah can't see past her human head knowledge, to understand that "His ways are not our ways" She is not laughing out of trust, she is laughing out of disbelief, like it's just too crazy to actually happen. Too often we are Sarah, we just can't see how it could work out so God's plans become comical to us.

Laughter in the belief: The woman in Proverbs is laughing because she knows that she is taken care of, so to stress out over the uncertain, is just well, laughable. She sits secure at the feet of Jesus, taking in all of his promises because she has tapped into the peace that surpasses all understanding. She laughs, not because Jesus is a great joke teller but because she is found and secure in the promises he has given us.


I feel like I'm on a crossroad, my laughter can go either way, I could look at God and laugh because those dreams he has placed in my heart, those plans he wants for me, are just too crazy, they aren't possible. But that's not the response he calls us to. I want to laugh at my days to come because I can trust in my faithful father who has carried me this far, no matter what is thrown at me, or how out of reach it may seem, I get to rest secure, no matter how crazy the situation he calls me into may look.

God shows up when the possible ends, and the impossible begins.
My prayer is that your days are filled with laughter that is matched with faith.
Trust his crazy plans for your life. Laugh off the uncertainty and sit in the security that you are His.