One of the biggest things that I struggle with, is in my mind, choosing what I lay at the feet of Jesus and what I keep for myself. In my head I have two columns, one if for Jesus, and one is for me.
We have all heard things like:
"take up our cross and follow him."
"die to ourselves"
"we must become less, and he must become more"
All of those things are completely true, and I honestly think we do believe those things, but how many of us actually do them?
We paint these verses on canvass to hang in our houses, we highlight them in our bible, we share them on facebook...Why? Because we can see that they matter. There is something in us that connects with the idea that we must let Jesus take control of our lives.
But how many of us actually let him?
For me, I don't mind Jesus having control on situations that I know I really can't control.
My struggle isn't letting him have control of my problem it is letting him have ALL of the control, no matter the outcome.
If you're honest with yourself you can see that you might share in this struggle with me.
I feel like I try to control certain situations because I feel like by me having control, I get to determine the outcome.
Have you ever played Tug Of War with an opponent that you knew was going to beat you? You size them up and you can see that they are going to end up pulling you across that line. Some people might run away, but it is in my character to go "i'll show you" and I fight until they have gotten me off my feet and are pulling me across that line.
This is how I imagine myself when I try and take control of my life.
God is on the other side of the rope going "okay really Sara, you see this can't end well"
and it's like I say back to Him "No really God, i've got this!"
And I pull and I pull and I pull and what's the result?
After rope burn, and skinned knees from fighting it, I am on the other side, looking up at God going "Okay you were right"
Maybe you follow my analogy, maybe you think I'm completely wrong but when we cling so tightly to our plans, our dreams and our goals, instead of placing them at His feet, we are in a losing battle. We can grip as tight as we want to but God is going to win, every time.
More times than not I come with scrapped knees, and rope burn because I am a hard-headed girl that thinks that my ideal outcome of the situation is more important than giving Him control.
Every single time God shows me that there is a reason he says to give him our life, ALL of it, not just the parts we want to.
and every single time God is there with band-aids for my knees and medicine for my rope burn because even in my stubbornness His grace abounds.
My heart behind this is to help someone that might be a little bit like me. Maybe you think you have a grasp on your life, and you can decide what you lay at His feet, but please, take it from someone that has been there (more times than I like to admit) let go of the rope and run to the other side.
